Coincidental and unexpected and expected

Things seem to be coming together. In strange ways. Coincidental and unexpected and expected.

A slightly different approach is maybe the reason I came to Turkey. Or maybe, more accurately, the reason I stayed. Something was missing from my life in the US but I couldn't figure out what it was.

Living abroad, living away from everything that you know, living away from your family and friends, living in a different culture, forces you to look inside yourself. It forces you to get to know yourself better. It forces you to see things differently.

Would I be the same person that I am now if I hadn't come here? Well, I can never know for sure, but I don't think so. I've learned so much here - about life, about people, about myself. One of the many wonderful things about living abroad is learning. And it's been other people who have helped me learn. Students, friends, and one very special person.

It's important to realize that not all the experiences you learn from in life are positive. While the positive ones do help a great deal, it's the negative ones that can really show you things. They can really show you how you should change your life and what you can do differently.

And as a result of everything I've learned, I've become a happier and more confident person. I think that I am now quite different than I was in December 2006. And I think the changes that I've made have made me a much better person.

Of course, there are difficulties with living abroad. Language, for starters. While I do take private Turkish lessons, I feel like I have stalemated (apparently this happens to many people). I am a dedicated student and I spend a lot of time studying. I guess in time it will pay off.

Friends are another. The English teaching world is a world of people who come and go. Someone may become your close friend and then a few months later they are gone. The number of English speaking friends is considerably smaller in a foreign country and you may settle for someone as a friend who you wouldn't normally be friends with at home. It can take a long long time to find a real friend.

And of course you can never replace your friends from home.

Family is a big one. Staying in contact is difficult if some family members are not so internet saavy. Missing out on big events in your family is challenging. Not being where everyone is can make you feel so lonely.

Skype and Instant Messenger help. Emails are great. Visits are wonderful. But it takes effort and effort from both sides. Emails go both ways as do phones. I am going to try to put more effort into communication. I spend enough time reading the news on the internet. I can dedicate some of that time to writing emails to friends and family.

One important thing to remember is that people change. And the changes are not witnessed by other people, especially if you are on opposite sides of an ocean. Understanding is crucial in maintaining relationships. Understand both how much your family and friends miss you. And them understanding how much you miss then and your reasons for leaving and your reasons for staying.

Communication is key.

On that note, I learned that people don't comment on my blog because they don't know what to write. Well, every single comment is greatly appreciated by me and makes my day. Even if it 2 words or 2 sentences. There is no need to write something profound (although you certainly can if you like). Just saying "hi" is good enough.

Your comments give me motivation. Both for writing and for life and everything else. Knowing that there are people out there who read and who care (even if I don't know you) is amazing. So please show me your support.

If you aren't comfortable commenting, you can always do so anonymously. Also, you can e-mail me. And I promise I will (eventually) reply.

Thanks.

Support

A fellow Blair alum, Adam Frey, has recently been diagnosed with a rare form of testicular cancer. He just found out that his cancer is in the most advanced stage. He is a strong, healthy, 22 year old wrestler.

He is writing a both fascinating and heart-breaking blog about his experiences. Please read about it here, offer him your support and place in him your thoughts and prayers.

We can all learn something from his good humor and positive attitude during such trying times.